Lone Ranger

Lone Ranger
I'm rarely bored alone; I'm often bored in groups and crowds. :)

Sunday 13 December 2015

You... (It's Just A Dream)

You dreamt about him again... The very last time you had a dream about him is the day after the break up. You dreamt that he was sitting at the end of your bed and playing with your long flowing mane. He fondled you like he used to when both of you were still together. You could feel his gentle touch in a loving way even though it was just a dream. Yea... Even though, it was just a dream...

Even so, you felt contented. You felt happy even if it was just a dream. You felt so blessed & joyful in the dream that you didn't want the dream to end. You wanted to sleep forever, so the dream would continue. You wanted to live in the dream for the entire of your life so much that you didn't want to wake up. Alas, the sad truth is every story has an ending, so does dream. You woke up and realized it was just a dream. You thought it was real. You tried to sleep again with the hope that the exact same would continue but it never happened. You had a different dream instead.

A few days ago, you dreamt about him again. This time, the dream was a contrast to the first dream you have had last time. In the dream, you and him were in a wedding shop. You were begging him to stay. You wanted to fix this relationship. You wanted everything to be back like last time. Why? Because you still love him...

When you thought there's still hope in both of you, he told you something that would break your heart into million of pieces. He told you he was engaged. You asked, "Who is she? Do you love her?". He never answered. He stood there in an emotionless state. You waited for his answers patiently. "It was an arranged married," at last he spoke after a long pause. "So you don't love her. You still love me, do you? Please tell the truth..." you looked at him into his eyes and hoping him to say yes. "I'm happy now...," he paused. "No. You are not," you said, "I am" he said while taking out a stack of letters. "Look at these letters. These are the letters we wrote for each other. They are love letters. These are the proof that we love each other even though it's an arranged marriage." he said.

You still chose to not to believe what he had said. "No, you don't love her. You are lying!" You eyes started to water. "I'm married. Just accept the fact that I'm married. I love her," he took a frame from the rack. He showed it to you. It was a photo of him and his wife. It was a wedding photo. They looked happy and joyful, you admitted it. You thought his wife would be his crush but it wasn't. It was someone else. Someone who is much more beautiful than you and his crush. She looked pretty, you thought. She looked so angelic in the photo. Maybe that's the reason he love her even though it was an arranged marriage.

Tears rolled down on your cheek. You couldn't take it any more. You felt like your world has crushed. Your hope to be with him again was crushed. You waited for years to be with him again but everything was ruined. He was married and he is happy. You turned away from him and ran away. You ran to the nearest stairs and started running down with the hope you would miss a step and fall down and die. You started to cry uncontrollably and breathing hard. Then, everything went black. You thought you had died. You thought you had fall from the stair.

Then, you woke up. You were still breathing very hard when you woke up. You touched your face to check if there were tears. No, there wasn't any tear. Good. Your hand landed on your chest. You could feel your heartbeat. Your heart was beating very fast. In a fast tempo...

You started to worry. Your dream, it looked vivid and real... What if it really happens? You don't want it to happen. You don't want it to happen in reality so badly. You knew you couldn't bear it if it really happens. For now, you could do nothing but to hope it (the dream) will never happened. You have to calm yourself, thus you kept telling yourself, "It's just a dream... Just a bad dream..."

Monday 7 December 2015


You see him standing there chatting happily with his friends. It's just another typical day of you life but why out of the blue, the feeling of grieve comes back? Why? Didn't you have forgotten about him? Forgotten about him completely? You told yourself to let go but little do you realize that you actually haven't let go at all?

Yes, you cried for days and nights since the day he broke up with you, so what? Does it really matter? He doesn't even care about you any more. You are nothing in his eyes any more but just a piece of banner by the roadside which he doesn't even bother to see. You are nothing but nothing. He doesn't love you any more but why couldn't you do the same thing as he does? Why?

Your friends kept saying thing like, "He's stupid for letting you go. He doesn't deserve you. You can find a better person." and "It's not your fault. People like him should just exit your life". Your friends kept insisting you to hate him but instead you chose to forgive. You give yourself hopes by thinking one day, both of you could get back together but you know the chance is low.

A few weeks had passed, your feeling of sorrow started to fade away but you still miss him deep inside. Every single thing you saw or every single place you went could remind you of him. You kept telling yourself to let go but your heart doesn't want to listen to your brain. As days passed, you started to get numb by your feelings. You imagined he's still by your side and adoring you like his baby girl. You still cry alone in the shower. You still acting like you are actually hugging him when you are in your bed, Alas, when you meet him face to face, you need to act like you have forgotten about him and treat him like any other of your friends because only a few know both of you WERE couple before.

The first few days after the break, you started scrolling back the both of you text messages and pictures. Even  if both of you won't see each other again, at least you still have those things as memories, you thought. But the more you read and recalled the memories both of you have had together, the more you couldn't let go, so you stopped looking at those text messages he had sent you and all the pictures both of you have took. They cause you nothing but pain.

You feel hurt. Is it you the problem? Is it a mistake that you confess to him at the very first place? Is it you that you are not perfect enough? Is it you?

Last time, when both of you were still together, he would travel far away from his place just to meet you and he could tell you sweet stuff like, "I miss you." or "I love you." and treat you like his princess. But now everything had changed. Nowadays, if you ask him out, he would you give all kind of excuses. You started to feel whether you still worth it any more. Your self extreme started to decrease. You doesn't miss all the thing he did for you, but you miss him. You just miss him for who he is. You started to miss the time that he's still in love with you.

Sometimes, you wondered, whether he's still at least have some feelings for you or at least miss you even for once. Millions of questions started to pop out in your mind but it seems like those questions are rhetorical questions.

He seems happy, though. He doesn't seems like he's sad to lose you, so why are you expecting so much from him? You started to feel like an idiot that you think he will like you back. "You are a total idiot,"you told yourself.

No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't forget. It's just you and you will always be you. It's you...

It's Been A Long Time Since When We Begin...

Nope, Nope. Nope. I'm not going to sing 'See You Again' by Wiz Khalifa or whatsoever. I just wanna say that it's been a long time since I start writing  Jack Frost & Elsa fan fiction a.k.a. Missing Winter & I started to lack of inspiration somehow. I don't know how to continue the story any more or should I just say that I'm freaking out that I couldn't write a good fairy tale about these both characters, thus I'm giving up writing. When I said I give up writing, I didn't mean that I will stop writing about this fan fiction, it only mean that I will continue the story whenever I'm in good mood or I have a whole storyline plotted in my mind & for that you might need to wait for a very very very long time before I have one well-plotted storyline in my rotten overworked brain. xp

That's all for now. Bye, peepo! :D

Jack Frost and Elsa: Missing Winter (Chapter 4)

They landed on the ground of green at last after hours of moments without any gravity. Elsa quickly let go of Jack's hand. Both of them were still feeling awkward once they had landed the ground because of what happened just now. Nonetheless, Elsa tried her best and acted like usual because she didn't wan to lose a friend, a good friend.

When they were flying in the sky just now, Elsa suddenly felt the urge to tell him. She didn't want to lie to herself any more. She couldn't hide her feeling. She wanted him to know her feeling for him. She gathered her gut and...

Elsa: Jack...
Jack Frost: Don't worry. You won't fall. Especially with me around.
Elsa: No. It's not that I'm worry about. I'm just...
Jack Frost: What happened?
Elsa: Ermmm... I...
Jack Frost: What's wrong?
Elsa: I like you *whisper*
Jack Frost: Huh? I can't hear you.
Elsa: I like you.
Jack Frost: What? Say it again.
Elsa: I... I LIKE YOU!

Jack Frost turned to Elsa and looked at her in disbelief.

Elsa: Hey, look in front!
Jack Frost: What did you say just now?
Elsa: Oh no! Please look in front!
Jack Frost: No. Tell me again what did you say just now?
Elsa: We are going to bang into a big candy cotton!
Jack Frost:Uh oh!
Jack Frost & Elsa: AHHHHHHHH!