You dreamt about him again... The very last time you had a dream about him is the day after the break up. You dreamt that he was sitting at the end of your bed and playing with your long flowing mane. He fondled you like he used to when both of you were still together. You could feel his gentle touch in a loving way even though it was just a dream. Yea... Even though, it was just a dream...
Even so, you felt contented. You felt happy even if it was just a dream. You felt so blessed & joyful in the dream that you didn't want the dream to end. You wanted to sleep forever, so the dream would continue. You wanted to live in the dream for the entire of your life so much that you didn't want to wake up. Alas, the sad truth is every story has an ending, so does dream. You woke up and realized it was just a dream. You thought it was real. You tried to sleep again with the hope that the exact same would continue but it never happened. You had a different dream instead.
A few days ago, you dreamt about him again. This time, the dream was a contrast to the first dream you have had last time. In the dream, you and him were in a wedding shop. You were begging him to stay. You wanted to fix this relationship. You wanted everything to be back like last time. Why? Because you still love him...
When you thought there's still hope in both of you, he told you something that would break your heart into million of pieces. He told you he was engaged. You asked, "Who is she? Do you love her?". He never answered. He stood there in an emotionless state. You waited for his answers patiently. "It was an arranged married," at last he spoke after a long pause. "So you don't love her. You still love me, do you? Please tell the truth..." you looked at him into his eyes and hoping him to say yes. "I'm happy now...," he paused. "No. You are not," you said, "I am" he said while taking out a stack of letters. "Look at these letters. These are the letters we wrote for each other. They are love letters. These are the proof that we love each other even though it's an arranged marriage." he said.
You still chose to not to believe what he had said. "No, you don't love her. You are lying!" You eyes started to water. "I'm married. Just accept the fact that I'm married. I love her," he took a frame from the rack. He showed it to you. It was a photo of him and his wife. It was a wedding photo. They looked happy and joyful, you admitted it. You thought his wife would be his crush but it wasn't. It was someone else. Someone who is much more beautiful than you and his crush. She looked pretty, you thought. She looked so angelic in the photo. Maybe that's the reason he love her even though it was an arranged marriage.
Tears rolled down on your cheek. You couldn't take it any more. You felt like your world has crushed. Your hope to be with him again was crushed. You waited for years to be with him again but everything was ruined. He was married and he is happy. You turned away from him and ran away. You ran to the nearest stairs and started running down with the hope you would miss a step and fall down and die. You started to cry uncontrollably and breathing hard. Then, everything went black. You thought you had died. You thought you had fall from the stair.
Then, you woke up. You were still breathing very hard when you woke up. You touched your face to check if there were tears. No, there wasn't any tear. Good. Your hand landed on your chest. You could feel your heartbeat. Your heart was beating very fast. In a fast tempo...
You started to worry. Your dream, it looked vivid and real... What if it really happens? You don't want it to happen. You don't want it to happen in reality so badly. You knew you couldn't bear it if it really happens. For now, you could do nothing but to hope it (the dream) will never happened. You have to calm yourself, thus you kept telling yourself, "It's just a dream... Just a bad dream..."
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