What If...?

"What if...?". I'm sure that all of you had this question flashed through your mind before. One simple question but we'll have a lot of thoughts about it. I often wonder what will happen if I'm not the way I am now. What will the results be? Good or bad? No one knows...

Questions I often ask myself the most is, "What if I'm a boy?". If I'm a boy, maybe I would have study in a boys' school by now and less drama will happen. What I mean by drama is backstabbing, gossip and more silly things girls often do in girls' school. I'm the youngest among my siblings and I'm 12 years younger than my third sister. As you can see, there's a long gap between my generation and my sisters' generation. You see, I have 3 sisters. My parents tried to get a boy but I popped out as a girl. Too bad for my parents... and for me, too.

If I'm a boy, maybe I would have spend less time on beautifying myself, so I don't have to rush whenever I go out. Well, you know... Girls take a very long time to dress up. If I'm a boy, I no need worry about what will come to me once a month (That's also if you know what I mean). If I'm a boy, maybe my parents won't be so worry and paranoid about my safety whenever I hang out. I blame nowadays communities for this. A lot of social problems seems to happen nowadays and most of the teenagers was involved with them. When I type the phrase "most of the teenagers", people often see them as "all the teenagers". Hey, people! Not all teenagers are like that! Some of us are good teenagers, ok?! That's why Malays have an idiom, "kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelangga", which means if one person from a group committed a misdeed then the whole group will get punished or embarrassed because of his or her misdeed even though the group are not involved. Unfair, right?

I don't think it would be any better if I'm a boy especially if I'm my parents only son. Maybe they'll protect me even more... For example, they will never even let me hang out at all. NOOOOO WAYYYY!!!

"What if I didn't meet this person in the first place?", is the second question which always appears in my mind. I often wonder what will happen if I didn't meet my friends(classmates), then who will I friend with? If I met other friends first instead of them, what will we be? Friends, phony or foe? Will we even talk to each other? No one knows...

"What if one day, death comes to me out of sudden?", is the very last question I want to ask myself. I decided to put that in my mind when I reached 60 something. I really don't want to think about it now even though I always wonder how do heaven and hell look like. Whatever will be will be...